The annual Bulwer-Lytton contest invites people to create their own (often very funny) examples of bad fiction writing.

I have disaggree with the judges and go with Nicholas Clee's choice for first place in his Book Brunch article , the best of the bunch has to be the winner in the detective fiction catagory:


She walked into my office on legs as long as one of those long-legged birds that you see in Florida - the pink ones, not the white ones except that she was standing on both of them, not just one of them, like those birds, the pink ones, and she wasn't wearing pink, but I knew right away that she was trouble, which those birds usually aren't.



And John Faherty of Queensbury, NY, was robbed not to win anything with this gem:

The skydiver jumped out of the plane and felt his skin being pulled back like that of a dog sticking its head out of a car going 110 on the highway, owned by a driver rushing to be on time for work or else he would get fired by his boss with the curly mustache who owned a large speedboat.




Genius!

S

This made my afternoon.